Saturday, April 29, 2006

...So I just realized how fucked I am...

I was relying, you see, on HAVING A JOB and HAVING STOCK OPTIONS to fund the promotion of my novel, The Unearthing, when it is released later this year.

...Now, my major source of funding is gone.

Granted, with 5 years at Bell Canada on my resume I'll be hired very easily. And granted I'll be getting about $10 K from Bell as a payout for dumping my ass. But that $10 K is going towards paying down some very outstanding debts.

And even if I'm re-hired, there's no way I'll be starting at $25.00 an hour, like I was earning at Bell. Likewise, I won't have stock options right off the bat.

I checked out the Canada Council on the Arts, hoping I'd qualify for a grant. Nope. And why not? Because I've dared to go with an American publisher. The thing is, none of the Canadian publishers I queried (many of whom are American-owned, anyway) were interested. So while the book was WRITTEN in Canada, BY a Canadian, the real problem seems to be that I dared betray my country to publish with Publish America. Well, maybe if a Canadian PUBLISHER had taken a fucking interest in my book instead of dismissing it for all the usual reasons maybe I WOULD be able to be published in Canada!

I feel like I'm being denied money by the Canada Council because of some sort of percieved disloyalty. Nevermind that I want to promote and sell the book in Canada; apparently not good enough for these people.

So between Bell and the Canada Council on the arts, I'm being fucked out of my dream. Yeah, I'm published. Big Whoop. Without being able to market the fucking book, how am I supposed to DO anything with that?